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350 pages, ebook
First published September 30, 2021
🥲 begins to ice Chloe out bcos she didn’t answer her phone and was late getting to the hospital after his daughter had an asthma attack. she was asleep after babysitting a newborn for two whole days and nights, while also working full time as a paediatrician— i did understand his initial fear with so many heightened emotions ... but after like a day of him acting like a nasty little bitch i was over it.
🥲 he doesn’t even TALK to Chloe. like literally doesn’t even communicate with her that he wants space but just actively avoids and ignores her, using the guise of his sick daughter to keep Chloe away while she respected his boundaries despite being confused.
🥲 finally sees Chloe in person but again doesn’t speak to her while she interacts with his daughter, Kinsley, who tells Chloe that her and her dad won’t be seeing much of Chloe anymore bcos that’s what Hayden has told Kinsley— but HE hasn’t even fucking told Chloe. who in turn is just sat there like 👁👄👁 then leaves Hayden’s in tears while he watches her sob xxx
🥲 still hasn’t spoken with Chloe in about a week, maybe two weeks by this point and only sees her for Kinsley’s doctor appointments as she’s Kinsley paediatrician. Kins invites Chloe to do something with them and Chloe gets all smiley and excited looking up at Hayden... only to find him staring blankly at her and basically saying no to them all spending time together. with poor Chloe devastated.
🥲 FINALLY at this town fate thing, Chloe is like bro wtf is going on either communicate or just break up with me. and this is where i lost my ever loving mind, you see: i am just gonna include some quotes bcos i think they explain things pretty perfectly🙃
”You broke the news to Kinsley first? You wanted your daughter to break up with your girlfriend?” Her hand covers her mouth as she stares at the ground.
“You know that I more than care about you, Hayden. I love you. I fell in love with you. Both of you—you and Kinsley. I don’t want to step back. I’m fully invested. I want more time, more feelings, more of everything. A consuming love, a life filled with joy, frustration, companionship, hot sex, sweet intimacy, and a crazy, fun family. I want it all. How do I step back from that? I don’t want to press pause on my heart or my life. I’ve done that and it doesn’t work. I want to give you what you need right now, but that comes at the expense of my own feelings.”
[...]
“That sounds like quite the dream, Chloe. One I don’t think I can deliver on.” [...] “I’ve never experienced most of that, and I turned out just fine. So if you hoped you could check off some of those boxes with a built-in family, you’re probably going to be disappointed.”
Her eyes widen, and she takes two steps back from me. “Are you serious? After everything I just said about wanting to be with you and my dreams of what we could be, you say that?”
(that last one sent me over the edge bcos he basically said he hadn’t experienced any of that all-consuming love... including with her👁👄👁)
“You’re not Tara, [his daughter’s mother]” I mumble, mostly to myself. Chloe’s sharp intake of breath has me turning to her, tears filling her eyes.
“Wait, Chloe, you’re taking that wrong. I was actually—”
“No, it’s fine. You’re right. I’m not her mom, but I was hoping you’d give me the chance to be in her life in that capacity.”
🥲 then proceeds (or intends to proceed) to have Kinsley reassigned to another doctor without telling Chloe, just goes and asks her receptionist instead. and poor Chloe is devastated and starts crying at her office thinking Hayden doesn’t want Kinsley around Chloe and vice versa.
🥲 Chloe sobs privately in her office almost everyday for roughly a month straight :’)
🥲 oh did i also forget to mention how often she told him she loved him and this big dumb fuck literally never said anything back. even tho he claimed to love her in his inner monologue? so when he “grovels” (i use that term very, very, very loosely) believing his love was unconvincing since he never told her when he had ample chances— and this pissed me off BCOS this man has been pining after Chloe since they were like 16 years old? that’s why i loved this so much to begin with bcos that man was a simp for her when they were teens, literally being the biggest dumbass to just garner an ounce of her attention. so for such a long time i loved how they loved each other... until he just ruined it🤷🏻♀️
🥲 Sean spitting facts: “Chloe put her past behind her, came back, gave your sorry ass a chance, and then you bail on her? Am I getting that right so far? Because it sounds like you did to her exactly what so many have done to you.”
“Now go watch your daughter and the woman who would have given you all of her love if you’d given her a chance.”